If I Were Bikini Girl, I’d Kiss You Right Now
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admin
Posted February 18th, 2010 at 5:17 pm
If I Were Bikini Girl, I’d Kiss You Right Now
by Mordant Monkey
So while Tuesday’s two-hour extravaganza revealed only 7 of the top 24, the one-hour show Wednesday will name the remaining 17. I’ll never understand this show.
We’re in the waiting room, and the contestants look tired, depressed, psychotic, and suicidal. “It’s complete and total agony,” one of them whispers to us.
Janell Wheeler is up first. Simon tells her he couldn’t remember her. Oh come on. I mean,...
You’re a Human Orange
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admin
Posted February 3rd, 2010 at 12:04 pm
You’re a Human Orange
by Paulette Frank
So we’re in Denver, the mile-high city, where Chris Daughtry auditioned years ago. Posh Spice is back with the judging panel to offer insight into contestants’ looks and clothes, and as Randy and Simon arrive at the audition site, they wonder where they are. Randy thinks Chicago and Simon thinks Atlanta. They’re so funny. They’re confused because they work so hard for two days at a time in different cities. So it’s tough to, like, ke...
