Who Knew He Was Hanging Out In All These Theme Parks?
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admin
Posted March 5th, 2010 at 8:57 am
Who Knew He Was Hanging Out In All These Theme Parks?
by Paulette Frank
“What four will be leaving us tonight?” Ryan wonders. As do I. I so hope Haeley and Didi aren’t going anywhere. And Andrew Garcia. I still think he’s great. Ryan tells us thank you for our over 27 million votes. You’re welcome, Ryan. He says hello to Randy, Ellen, Kara, and Simon (who gets the loudest audience response, although it’s half boos) and then asks Simon about how he said he got something w...
I’ve Got To Have A Mohawk Before I’m 30
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admin
Posted March 4th, 2010 at 7:16 pm
I’ve Got To Have A Mohawk Before I’m 30
by Paulette Frank
Thank God Crystal made it. How mad would the guys have been if they’d all had their mani-pedis interrupted yesterday for nothing? I’m wondering whether they’re even going to mention her illness--I know full well they’re not going to be so cool as to actually tell us what really happened. But Ryan brings it up right off the bat after the girls do their run past the camera making retard faces, pulling Crystal to center ...
I Thought That it was a Disaster
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admin
Posted February 18th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
I Thought That it was a Disaster
by Paulette Frank
So I feel totally gypped, because I’m watching this show to see awesome singers do their thing, and instead, all I’m getting is a bunch of regurgitated crap I’ve already seen before mixed in with misleading splicing and the obligatory tears (both of joy and disappointment) and suspenseful music. But at least it’s the last of it--of no new performances, anyway.
So first we have a recap of the seven of the Top 24 announced on Tu...
You Have A Horrible Voice
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admin
Posted February 4th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
You Have A Horrible Voice
by Paulette Frank
So it’s the final audition night, and Ryan claims they’ve saved the best for last, so I’m thinking it’s sort of a best-of-the-best show, but I’m skeptical when the first contestant they focus on is “Pants On The Ground Guy”. Yes, yes, it’s a nationwide phenomenon, blah blah blah. There are bluegrass versions, acoustic guitar versions, a capella group versions, and apparently, it’s even made it to congress, or town hall, or som...
You’re a Human Orange
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admin
Posted February 3rd, 2010 at 12:04 pm
You’re a Human Orange
by Paulette Frank
So we’re in Denver, the mile-high city, where Chris Daughtry auditioned years ago. Posh Spice is back with the judging panel to offer insight into contestants’ looks and clothes, and as Randy and Simon arrive at the audition site, they wonder where they are. Randy thinks Chicago and Simon thinks Atlanta. They’re so funny. They’re confused because they work so hard for two days at a time in different cities. So it’s tough to, like, ke...
Singing, “Singing,” and a Side of Beans
The Kara Girl on the Left
by Paulette Frank
Simon Cowell has opted to leave American Idol at the perfect time: just before it becomes absolutely necessary for him to wear a bra with his omnipresent white T-shirt. Yes, I was able to watch the Season 9 premiere despite the tears, although they came anew each time Simon made comments that were utterly Simon. I mean, how can you not cry the last time Simon calls an audition “utter rubbish” in an AI premiere? It’s kinda like when a kid r...
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