If I Were Bikini Girl, I’d Kiss You Right Now
by Mordant Monkey
So while Tuesday’s two-hour extravaganza revealed only 7 of the top 24, the one-hour show Wednesday will name the remaining 17. I’ll never understand this show.
We’re in the waiting room, and the contestants look tired, depressed, psychotic, and suicidal. “It’s complete and total agony,” one of them whispers to us.
Janell Wheeler is up first. Simon tells her he couldn’t remember her. Oh come on. I mean,...