Misunderestimations and Regurgitations
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admin
Posted March 4th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Misunderestimations and Regurgitations
by Mordant Monkey
It’s the girls’ night, even though that was supposed to be last night, but it was postponed because Crystal Bowersox was in the hospital. “It is ON,” announced Ryan, apropos of nothing, really.
Yep, there’s Crystal, last in the girls’ line. Ryan grills her, and she’s feeling fine. You know, she looks a lot like Julia Stiles at some angles. So, excellent. Let’s hope the girls don’t suck as badly as the guys did l...
It Was Verging on Stupid What You Did
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admin
Posted February 25th, 2010 at 12:33 am
It Was Verging on Stupid What You Did.
by Mordant Monkey
Here we are, separating the men from the boys, Ryan tells us. “This … is American … Simon, stop talking!” Well, that was one of the weirder ways we’ve started this show.
Two of the guys are wearing purple (!!), two have a hideous scarf around their neck. There’s an overlap between those that makes it that much worse. Ellen rocks, Randy is wearing a Bill Cosby sweater, I can’t even describe what Kara is wearing—shou...
If It Was a Mess, It Was a Hot Mess
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Posted February 24th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
If It Was a Mess, It Was a Hot Mess
by Paulette Frank
Live performances. Finally. Ryan tells me it’s my job to cut the Top 24 down to the Top 12. The girls are all lined up on the steps and Ryan introduces them one by one and one by one they run past the camera making retarded faces and/or hand gestures. Then Ryan introduces the judges and asks Simon about something he saw in the New York Post about how Simon thinks it’s the girls’ year. Simon explains, “You know we’ve got a...
This Isn’t Going Particularly Well for You, Is It?
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admin
Posted February 24th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
This Isn’t Going Particularly Well for You, Is It?
by Mordant Monkey
Hallelujah. We’re finally—finally!—going to hear some actual singing and see some actual performances. I was starting to wonder if I was trapped in some sort of audition limbo for the past month and a half.
There’s Ryan on the stage, and he walks through the lines of women on one side and men on the other. Most of them are trying to not giggle as Ryan announces that this is, indeed, “American Idol.” Well,...
If I Were Bikini Girl, I’d Kiss You Right Now
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Posted February 18th, 2010 at 5:17 pm
If I Were Bikini Girl, I’d Kiss You Right Now
by Mordant Monkey
So while Tuesday’s two-hour extravaganza revealed only 7 of the top 24, the one-hour show Wednesday will name the remaining 17. I’ll never understand this show.
We’re in the waiting room, and the contestants look tired, depressed, psychotic, and suicidal. “It’s complete and total agony,” one of them whispers to us.
Janell Wheeler is up first. Simon tells her he couldn’t remember her. Oh come on. I mean,...
Kara DioGuardi Talks About Hollywood Week
American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi recently talked about Hollywood Week on a press call. After completing a second season of Hollywood auditions, Kara shared her perspective on the Season 9 Hollywood Week experience.
Hollywood Week auditions saw the addition of Ellen DeGeneres to the judges panel. Kara commented on Ellen saying, She had a really good handle on whether a contestant had potential, whether they had a star quality. She knew if something was off in the vocals or in their performance,...
You Have A Horrible Voice
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admin
Posted February 4th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
You Have A Horrible Voice
by Paulette Frank
So it’s the final audition night, and Ryan claims they’ve saved the best for last, so I’m thinking it’s sort of a best-of-the-best show, but I’m skeptical when the first contestant they focus on is “Pants On The Ground Guy”. Yes, yes, it’s a nationwide phenomenon, blah blah blah. There are bluegrass versions, acoustic guitar versions, a capella group versions, and apparently, it’s even made it to congress, or town hall, or som...
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