You Have No Idea
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admin
Posted February 17th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
You Have No Idea
by Mordant Monkey
Put up or shut up: It’s the last chance for each contestant to wow the judges in Hollywood. I see that we’re meant to find out who some of the top 24 are as well, so that might explain part of why this show tonight is two whole hours.
“Decisions will be made. Devastating news will be delivered. And dreams will finally be realized,” Ryan intones. Decisions! Devastation! Dreams! And drama, drama, drama! Shots of the different rooms that they cor...
It’s Your Fault You Didn’t Shut The Refrigerator
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admin
Posted February 12th, 2010 at 3:22 am
It’s Your Fault You Didn’t Shut The Refrigerator
by Paulette Frank
Whenever I’m around someone who mentions his or devotion to shows like “Survivor” or “Big Brother” or, oh my God, “THE BACHELOR” (WHY am I hanging around these people??), I stand on my tippy toes (or a chair, if need be) so I can look down my nose at said person while proclaiming, “I don’t watch reality TV.” But then along comes GROUP NIGHT and I’m utterly, thoroughly reminded that, well, actually...
Don’t Beg. It’s Not Cool.
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admin
Posted February 11th, 2010 at 1:00 pm
Don’t Beg. It’s Not Cool.
by Mordant Monkey
Drama and despair! Shouting and screaming! Cursing and crying! It must be group night at American Idol!
Of the 181 hopefuls, 85 people crashed and burned on the first day. And now it’s the “dreaded group night,” says Ryan. Contestants try to glom together to form a group that sucks less than the others, and, as we’ve seen, one bad decision can scar one for life.
A group of three becomes a group of five, and why is this interesti...
Sexy and Scary—It’s a Fine Line
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admin
Posted February 9th, 2010 at 11:48 pm
Sexy and Scary—It’s a Fine Line
by Mordant Monkey
It’s Hollywood time! After all the tedium of the auditions we’ve arrived at something that might finally resemble some singing. This is so exciting! And Ellen will be here at last, which is doubly exciting.
After a seven-city search, they’ve picked 181 hopefuls to vie for the American Idol title. And it seems like, in the opening scenes, 178 of them are weeping. I wonder if Simon is just letting loose on his last season with us...
You Have A Horrible Voice
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admin
Posted February 4th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
You Have A Horrible Voice
by Paulette Frank
So it’s the final audition night, and Ryan claims they’ve saved the best for last, so I’m thinking it’s sort of a best-of-the-best show, but I’m skeptical when the first contestant they focus on is “Pants On The Ground Guy”. Yes, yes, it’s a nationwide phenomenon, blah blah blah. There are bluegrass versions, acoustic guitar versions, a capella group versions, and apparently, it’s even made it to congress, or town hall, or som...
You’re a Human Orange
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admin
Posted February 3rd, 2010 at 12:04 pm
You’re a Human Orange
by Paulette Frank
So we’re in Denver, the mile-high city, where Chris Daughtry auditioned years ago. Posh Spice is back with the judging panel to offer insight into contestants’ looks and clothes, and as Randy and Simon arrive at the audition site, they wonder where they are. Randy thinks Chicago and Simon thinks Atlanta. They’re so funny. They’re confused because they work so hard for two days at a time in different cities. So it’s tough to, like, ke...
I Love You, You Love Me
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admin
Posted January 28th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
I Love You, You Love Me
by Paulette Frank
While Randy and Simon would love to have Richard Simmons or Clint Eastwood as guest judges, I’m happy they went with Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris IS Barney as far as I’m concerned, and Doogie is a distant memory that need not be mentioned). He had lofty goals as a judge, though, which he told Kara about before things got started. “My goal today, Kara, is to shatter the dreams of thousands. If I can make two, three dozen people cry, I...
