The Only Time You Should Be Nervous Is If You’re Useless
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admin
Posted March 2nd, 2010 at 11:16 pm
The Only Time You Should Be Nervous Is If You’re Useless
by Mordant Monkey
It’s the guys tonight, which contradicts what the information on my television says, which is that the top ten females perform. But whatever.
Ah, Ryan explains that the women were slated to perform tonight, but Crystal became ill and went to the hospital this morning and was ordered by a doctor to not perform tonight. So … she’ll be all better tomorrow night? What the hell?
Ryan slaps the last guy on ...
America Gets It Wrong
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admin
Posted February 25th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
America Gets It Wrong
by Mordant Monkey
It’s the first results show, and we’re expecting that guy who won last season. No, not Adam Lambert, that other guy. Kris someone.
And we’re losing two girls and two guys tonight! Based on what I’ve seen over the past week, they could easily chop the field in half and we’d not miss anyone. But that’s just me.
Ryan asks Simon was he harsher last night than normal. Simon doesn’t think he was. He was trying to be helpful and honest....
It Was Verging on Stupid What You Did
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admin
Posted February 25th, 2010 at 12:33 am
It Was Verging on Stupid What You Did.
by Mordant Monkey
Here we are, separating the men from the boys, Ryan tells us. “This … is American … Simon, stop talking!” Well, that was one of the weirder ways we’ve started this show.
Two of the guys are wearing purple (!!), two have a hideous scarf around their neck. There’s an overlap between those that makes it that much worse. Ellen rocks, Randy is wearing a Bill Cosby sweater, I can’t even describe what Kara is wearing—shou...
If It Was a Mess, It Was a Hot Mess
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admin
Posted February 24th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
If It Was a Mess, It Was a Hot Mess
by Paulette Frank
Live performances. Finally. Ryan tells me it’s my job to cut the Top 24 down to the Top 12. The girls are all lined up on the steps and Ryan introduces them one by one and one by one they run past the camera making retarded faces and/or hand gestures. Then Ryan introduces the judges and asks Simon about something he saw in the New York Post about how Simon thinks it’s the girls’ year. Simon explains, “You know we’ve got a...
This Isn’t Going Particularly Well for You, Is It?
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admin
Posted February 24th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
This Isn’t Going Particularly Well for You, Is It?
by Mordant Monkey
Hallelujah. We’re finally—finally!—going to hear some actual singing and see some actual performances. I was starting to wonder if I was trapped in some sort of audition limbo for the past month and a half.
There’s Ryan on the stage, and he walks through the lines of women on one side and men on the other. Most of them are trying to not giggle as Ryan announces that this is, indeed, “American Idol.” Well,...
I Thought That it was a Disaster
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admin
Posted February 18th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
I Thought That it was a Disaster
by Paulette Frank
So I feel totally gypped, because I’m watching this show to see awesome singers do their thing, and instead, all I’m getting is a bunch of regurgitated crap I’ve already seen before mixed in with misleading splicing and the obligatory tears (both of joy and disappointment) and suspenseful music. But at least it’s the last of it--of no new performances, anyway.
So first we have a recap of the seven of the Top 24 announced on Tu...
